I’ll never forget this moment:
I was waiting in the checkout of a local grocery store, and I had my then two-year-old with me. She was asking a million questions.
Is that candy?
Can I have that?
What’s that lady doing?
I’m tired, when can we go?
Is it our turn yet?
That particular morning, I must have had my parenting Wheaties. I calmly answered all of her questions like super-mom.
It’s a coloring book. Yes it is. Well, we need to leave that there. It might give you a tummy ache. She’s loading her groceries on the…
Recently, Inc. Magazine published an article by Jessica Stillman entitled “A Review of 174 Studies Concluded This Is the Most Important Quality for Happy Relationships.”
Spoiler alert: it’s psychological flexibility.
I had my own experience with psychological flexibility in a recent family photoshoot. We spent hours getting ready: organizing matching outfits, getting the backdrop ready, curling my daughter’s waist-long hair, doing my own hair and makeup…only to have the shots turn out disastrously. No one would sit still. The toddler had her own ideas of where she wanted to be and play (and it did not align with my plans)…
“Moooommmmy, I’m dooooone,” my daughter’s sweet voice trails from the bathroom. “Come wipe my butt!” I particularly enjoy it when this happens during my zoom meetings for work. My colleagues laugh at my misfortune as I grudgingly get up and take care of it. If there is any question of who is in charge of a parent-child relationship, remember — you have to wipe their poop.
You may be wondering if you are in a meeting- why doesn’t your husband do it? Well, he has tried many times. If he enters the bathroom, there is usually a shriek followed by…
While my kids have loads of presents sitting under the tree and ready to fill their stocking, it has dawned on me that I have much more valuable gifts I need to instill. I sat down and reflected on what I really want them to understand about the holiday season. For some people, the holidays are magical. I know people who start decorating in August and count down the days.
For other people, the holidays are extremely difficult. People remember loved ones they have lost, they face the holidays alone, and/or they may not be able to buy presents for…
Mommy, will you play with me? I must get asked that question twenty times a day. When my daughter was little, I was terrified of not being a “present parent.” Every time she asked, I would immediately drop what I was doing and play. I always felt a little guilty, too, because, to be honest, I never wanted to play. I started to notice that my daughter would rarely play on her own, didn’t engage in creative play on her own, and seemed overly dependent on me. …
While making dinner I heard the very familiar sound of my one year old shriek. I instantly knew it wasn’t an all-out-pain cry. It was more an I’ve-been-temporarily-inconvenienced-cry. I know the difference well.
I walked over and saw my four year old sitting on the ground looking up at me with wide eyes. I asked her what happened. “Well, I’m a little afraid you’ll be mad at me, but I didn’t want her to pass here, so I accidently pushed her over,” she explained.
I crouched down and brushed her hair out of her face and looked her in the…
One night, I was awakened by the sound of my 3-year-old daughter moaning in the hallway. I hurried out to find her aimlessly walking around. I called to her and tried to urge her back to bed. She let out a noise (similar to what a threatened or frightened animal might do) and swatted at me before returning to wandering around.
Again, I shuffled her towards her room, but the more I attempted to interact with her, the more agitated she became. I tried to ask questions, but the reply was a loud and decisive NO. …
One April morning, I held my then two-year-old daughter in my arms as we walked down the stairs. She looked out the front door, surprised to see the front yard covered in white from the freak snowstorm the night before. (She’s not a fan of snow).
“What the f*ck?!” She said, gesturing towards the window.
I almost choked. It was the first time I heard my own potty mouth reflected in her speech. I decided to try ignoring it. If I didn’t make a big deal, she wouldn’t be incentivized to do it again. Though I admit, I thought it…
I have some nerve writing this article. In the somewhat recent past, my daughter’s listening ears were less than stellar. That’s not entirely my fault — there is something to be said for impulse control and children, but — I had some of my own behaviors to fix.
I used to teach at a low-income, inner-city school. There, I encountered all sorts of individuals with crazy life situations. Yes, some behaviors were atrocious, unbearable even. Most people I know, wouldn’t last a week teaching in that environment.
There was one student who had come into school a day after abandoning…
My voice died a little that day
The day the boy kept pushing when I said NO.
Come on, he said
It will just..
Just this once..
and then I found out I never had the choice anyway.
My voice died a little more
When one by one my friends left the table
“Sorry you guys broke up but we were more his friends anyway”
I sat at the table
Quietly singing happy birthday.
With shaking hands I stacked these bricks
and built a wall instead of me. …
An avid learner of neuroscience and child development. Once a certified counselor and teacher, now a parent, IT Professional and children’s author.